Archive
Independence Day Review: “Live Free or Die Hard”
Directed by: Len Wiseman
Produced by: Michael Fottrel
Written by: Mark Bomback (screenplay and story), David Marconi (story)
Edited by: Nicolas De Toth
Cinematography by: Simon Duggan
Music by: Marco Beltrami
Starring: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Cliff Curtis, Maggie Q, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jonathan Sadowski, Kevin Smith
Based on the Wired article “A Farewell to Arms” by John Carlin
Year: 2007
People understandably lament the quick devolution that John McClane has undergone over the course of the four movies that have followed the original. The quick-witted everyman cop trying to win back his wife has become more known for performing ridiculous stunts and frequently being in the wrong place at the wrong time and yet just the right man for the job. The issue was already apparent in the incredibly dull Die Hard 2, and by the third film, the coincidences of his involvement become too glaring to ignore unless you suspend your disbelief and pretend like this is something that regular cops have to deal with every now and then in the Die Hard world. (Considering the ties that were later made to the TV series Chuck, I wouldn’t put it past them on that point, though.)
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In Honor of Father’s Day: Guy Movie Month!
So I did Girly Movie Month for May in honor of Mother’s Day in honor of my mom, who, on top of being a female, is also quite girly. Naturally, my first thought after starting that was, “What am I going to do in honor of Father’s Day?”
My stepdad is quite a man’s man, coming from a family that originates in Texas. Naturally, my inclination was to do a month of reviewing nothing but “manly” movies — stuff like Die Hard, Braveheart, Casino Royale, and Man on Fire. But that sounded incredibly bland. Even as a guy, I can only take so many action movies starring burly action stars.
As such, what I decided upon was something that allowed me to be a bit more flexible in my reviews, a theme that would allow me to incorporate not just those manly movies, but films from a slightly broader selection of genres. The solution? Guy Movie Month!
Male bonding has its sensitive side, too, you know.
Guy Movie Month will focus on movies specifically designed to appeal to the male demographic, whether they be action, comedy, or even coming of age films. This way, films like Shaun of the Dead and Superbad will also make it in, and I won’t have to watch film after film of sweaty men killing people all the time and thus avoiding my mind from going numb. Hope you enjoy it as much as you did Girly Movie Month — even if you’re not a guy!
Disclaimer: Incidental reviews of theatrical films during this time will not be counted as “guy” movies, unless, of course, they are actually a “guy” movie.
Memorial Day Review: “Wings”
Directed by: William A. Wellman
Produced by: Lucien Hubbard, Adolph Zukor, Jesse L. Lasky, B.P. Schulberg, Otto Hermann Kahn
Written by: Julian Johnson
Edited by: E. Lloyd Sheldon, Lucien Hubbard (uncredited)
Cinematography by: Harry Perry
Music by: J.S. Zamecnik
Starring: Charles “Buddy” Rogers, Richard Arlen, Clara Bow, El Brendel, Jobyna Ralston, Gary Cooper
Year: 1927
It might be hard to believe for many modern audiences, but there was a time when films had to go without dialogue. Strange, I know! “Silent films,” as we’ve come to all them (as I assume they weren’t called that when they were still the norm), weren’t necessarily all silent – they still had a musical recording or live performance to accompany them, and some, such as this one, even had sound effects synced up with the film, albeit usually more for ambiance than anything. By the time that Wings had been released, the more accurately named “talkies” were already in production, with the first feature length film with synchronized dialogue, The Jazz Singer, was released just months after Wings’ theatrical debut. If you’ve at the very least seen Singin’ in the Rain, you know what kind of impact The Jazz Singer had on filmmaking. Read more…
In Honor of Mother’s Day: <3 Girly Movie Month <3
So, May has begun! And what comes with May? FLOWERS! And Mother’s Day! And my mom’s pretty girly — she had me make sure that her Dutch Bros. cup was pink, which was only available online — so, yeah, to commemorate the month of flowers and mothers who like girly things, I’m going to review nothing but girly movies!
Wait! No! Not that kind of “girly movie.” Geez, you freak!
No, what I mean are movies like You’ve Got Mail, The Lake House, Bridesmaids, Enchanted, Brave, etc. will, for the next month, grace The Viewer’s Commentary — only not those, ’cause I already reviewed those.
Stereotypically girly, you say? So be it. I’ll most likely be doing something similar for June and Father’s Day… Anyway, yeah, so get ready to get in touch with your feminine side. Girly Movie Month begins…
Disclaimer: Incidental reviews of theatrical films during this time will not be counted as “girly” movies, unless, of course, they are actually a “girly” movie.
Tyler Perry & Larry The Cable Guy: Together at last…
Umm… Remember how I said the following of Tyler Perry and Larry the Cable Guy just last week?:
He’s like the black, sophisticated and moralizing counterpart to Larry the Cable Guy’s white trash dumbass, and both of them manage to be equally insufferable while also remaining bankable, despite being so superficially different from one another. If they were to ever join forces and produce a film together, this would likely be the only reason I would go willingly to either one of their productions, if only for the fact that it would very likely be one of the worst things of anything ever and would thus likely never see the light of day again…
Um… Yeah, that’s happening… Guess I might have something to look forward to already this holiday season… X'(
Review: “New Year’s Eve”
Directed by: Garry Marshall
Produced by: Mike Karz, Wayne Allan Rice, Garry Marshall
Written by: Katherine Fugate
Edited by: Michael Tronick
Cinematography by: Charles Minsky
Music by: John Debney
Starring (in alphabetical order, by first name): Abigail Breslin, Alyssa Milano, Ashton Kutcher, Carla Gugino, Cary Elwes, Halle Berry, Héctor Elizondo, Hilary Swank, Jake T. Austin, James Belushi, Jessica Biel, Joey McIntyre, John Lithgow, Jon Bon Jovi, Josh Duhamel, Katherine Heigl, Lea Michele, Ludacris, Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer, Penny Marshall, Robert De Niro, Russell Peters, Ryan Seacrest, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sarah Paulson, Seth Meyers, Sofía Vergara, Til Schweiger, Yeardley Smith, Zac Efron
Year: 2011
The reason why I ordered the cast in such an order is, quite frankly, because I couldn’t figure out what the main starring role for this film was. Wikipedia had Halle Berry listed first, but I don’t really think her role as a nurse who simply stays put while a man is on his deathbed until it’s revealed in the final couple minutes that she’s also been longing this whole time for her man-in-combat really puts her at the forefront of this film’s ridiculously massive cast. The alphabetizing brings a little sanity to the madness of what amounts to a celebrity hodgepodge of A, B, and C-listers. At the very least, if that list doesn’t get me a bump in the site hits, I don’t know what will. (Possibly a review of Garry Marshall’s previous ensemble casserole, Valentine’s Day….) Read more…
Review: “A Christmas Story”
Directed by: Bob Clark
Produced by: Bob Clark, René Dupont, Gary Goth
Written by: Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown, Bob Clark
Edited by: Stan Cole
Cinematography by: Reginald H. Morris
Music by: Carl Zittrer, Paul Zaza
Starring: Peter Billingsley, Jean Shepherd, Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon, Ian Petrella, Scott Schwartz, R.D. Robb, Zack Ward, Tedde Moore
Based on In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd
Year: 1983
It’s easy to forget how good a movie is when certain cable networks play it non-stop for 24 hours. There was a point where I simply had no desire to watch this movie. I was even sick of seeing the ads on TV for the “24-Hours of A Christmas Story” marathon. Luckily, we got rid of cable and, after a couple years, I oddly kind of forgot that the film even existed. It wasn’t long before the film came back up, however, when, one Christmas, my stepdad admitted that he had never seen it before. Somehow, here was someone who somehow had cable all this time but who had managed to avoid a holiday classic his entire life, despite this annual onslaught. I suddenly felt like I was prepared to revisit what was once the scourge of our Christmas season festivities, if only for the fact that here was someone who had yet to be touched by Ted Turner’s cynical yet depressingly successful grab for viewership. So, of course, none of us could let this stand any longer. We had to secure a copy of the film right then and there. Read more…
Dual Review: “Home Alone” and “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York”
Home Alone
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Produced by: John Hughes
Written by: John Hughes
Edited by: Raja Gosnell
Cinematography by: Julio Macat
Music by: John Williams
Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’Hara, John Heard, John Candy, Roberts Blossom, Gerry Bamman
Year: 1990
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Produced by: John Hughes
Written by: John Hughes
Edited by: Raja Gosnell
Cinematography by: Julio Macat
Music by: John Williams
Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Tim Curry, Rob Schneider, Dana Ivey, Brenda Fricker, Catherine O’Hara, Eddie Bracken, John Heard, Gerry Bamman
Year: 1992
It had been a long time since I had seen any of the Home Alone films when I bought the Blu-Ray set of the first two films that went on sale earlier this month for the lovely price of about $12. Being in a spend-y mood, I bought it happily, having wanted but never owned the first two films since I was a little kid. (Oddly, I did own a VHS of the third film.) And, I gotta say, while I still mostly enjoyed the films, even at age 26, I didn’t find myself laughing at them nearly as much as I had as a little kid. It’s not that I’m above the whole slapstick thing — I just watched Ted for the first time tonight, and one of the funniest parts of that movie was the ridiculously violent beat down the teddy bear gives Mark Wahlberg — but I certainly felt a lot more cynical about it than I had expected.
Perhaps it was the fact that I watched them back-to-back in one night. Perhaps it was because I watched them while cooking a turkey that inadvertently filled my apartment with large plumes of smoke (the turkey turned out fine, but I’m still unsure what caused all that). Or perhaps it’s because I realized that 2 is basically just a remake of 1 with extra ridiculous and a hefty dollop of moralizing. Maybe it was a combination of those factors.
So, rather than review these films separately, as I would with any other franchise, I decided to review them at the same time. Unlike with last year’s Grudge Match Review of adaptations of A Christmas Carol, however, this isn’t really a competition, but rather an efficient way of killing two birds with one stone. After all, take a look at those credits up there. The films are identical in cast and crew, with the second one doing the typical sequel thing by throwing in a few new faces for good measure, and, for the most part, they are the same in story structure, too. Read more…
Review: “It’s a Wonderful Life”
Directed by: Frank Capra
Produced by: Frank Capra
Written by: Frances Goodrich, Albert Hackett, Jo Swerling, Frank Capra (screenplay)
Cinematography by: Joseph Walker
Editing by: William Hornbeck
Music by: Dimitri Tiomkin
Starring: James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Henry Travers, Frank Faylen, Ward Bond, Beulah Bondi, Joseph Kearns
Year: 1946
Based on the short story The Greatest Gift by Philip Van Doren Stern
It’s almost impossible for me to hear the term “life-affirming” without thinking of something cloying or preachy. One of the few exceptions to this rule, however, is It’s a Wonderful Life — a film that, though undoubtedly now a Christmas season classic, is also a truly profound answer to the questions that may rise up as we go through life and its inherent trials. Read more…
Review: “Jingle All the Way”
Directed by: Brian Levant
Produced by: Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan, Mark Radcliffe
Written by: Randy Kornfield, Chris Columbus (uncredited rewrite)
Editing by: Kent Beyda, Wilton Henderson, Adam Weiss
Cinematography by: Victor J. Kemper
Music by: David Newman
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Jake Lloyd, Robert Conrad, Jim Belushi
Year: 1996
A lot of Christmas movies attempt to sell us the idea that they know what the true meaning of Christmas is. Usually movies like these involve the main character committing some sort of minor, selfish sin that hurts a member (or members) of their family, especially the children, before going through some ordeal that causes them to realize, through some contrived epiphany, that all important (and incredibly generic) meaning behind the season: family. Cue the proverbial rush to make things right through some sort of breathless plea for forgiveness and confessions of mutual love before the warm embrace with their loved ones (spinning around is optional, but gazing upward in triumph is usually a must). It’s a familiar and easy formula, sometimes doctored up to make the story seem original, but usually there’s at least some sort of artificial sincerity at the film’s core that is just enough to make you feel warm inside, even if it’s just for a guilty moment. Read more…
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