Archive
Review: “New Year’s Eve”
Directed by: Garry Marshall
Produced by: Mike Karz, Wayne Allan Rice, Garry Marshall
Written by: Katherine Fugate
Edited by: Michael Tronick
Cinematography by: Charles Minsky
Music by: John Debney
Starring (in alphabetical order, by first name): Abigail Breslin, Alyssa Milano, Ashton Kutcher, Carla Gugino, Cary Elwes, Halle Berry, Héctor Elizondo, Hilary Swank, Jake T. Austin, James Belushi, Jessica Biel, Joey McIntyre, John Lithgow, Jon Bon Jovi, Josh Duhamel, Katherine Heigl, Lea Michele, Ludacris, Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer, Penny Marshall, Robert De Niro, Russell Peters, Ryan Seacrest, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sarah Paulson, Seth Meyers, Sofía Vergara, Til Schweiger, Yeardley Smith, Zac Efron
Year: 2011
The reason why I ordered the cast in such an order is, quite frankly, because I couldn’t figure out what the main starring role for this film was. Wikipedia had Halle Berry listed first, but I don’t really think her role as a nurse who simply stays put while a man is on his deathbed until it’s revealed in the final couple minutes that she’s also been longing this whole time for her man-in-combat really puts her at the forefront of this film’s ridiculously massive cast. The alphabetizing brings a little sanity to the madness of what amounts to a celebrity hodgepodge of A, B, and C-listers. At the very least, if that list doesn’t get me a bump in the site hits, I don’t know what will. (Possibly a review of Garry Marshall’s previous ensemble casserole, Valentine’s Day….) Read more…
Review: “A Christmas Story”
Directed by: Bob Clark
Produced by: Bob Clark, René Dupont, Gary Goth
Written by: Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown, Bob Clark
Edited by: Stan Cole
Cinematography by: Reginald H. Morris
Music by: Carl Zittrer, Paul Zaza
Starring: Peter Billingsley, Jean Shepherd, Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon, Ian Petrella, Scott Schwartz, R.D. Robb, Zack Ward, Tedde Moore
Based on In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd
Year: 1983
It’s easy to forget how good a movie is when certain cable networks play it non-stop for 24 hours. There was a point where I simply had no desire to watch this movie. I was even sick of seeing the ads on TV for the “24-Hours of A Christmas Story” marathon. Luckily, we got rid of cable and, after a couple years, I oddly kind of forgot that the film even existed. It wasn’t long before the film came back up, however, when, one Christmas, my stepdad admitted that he had never seen it before. Somehow, here was someone who somehow had cable all this time but who had managed to avoid a holiday classic his entire life, despite this annual onslaught. I suddenly felt like I was prepared to revisit what was once the scourge of our Christmas season festivities, if only for the fact that here was someone who had yet to be touched by Ted Turner’s cynical yet depressingly successful grab for viewership. So, of course, none of us could let this stand any longer. We had to secure a copy of the film right then and there. Read more…
Dual Review: “Home Alone” and “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York”
Home Alone
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Produced by: John Hughes
Written by: John Hughes
Edited by: Raja Gosnell
Cinematography by: Julio Macat
Music by: John Williams
Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’Hara, John Heard, John Candy, Roberts Blossom, Gerry Bamman
Year: 1990
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Produced by: John Hughes
Written by: John Hughes
Edited by: Raja Gosnell
Cinematography by: Julio Macat
Music by: John Williams
Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Tim Curry, Rob Schneider, Dana Ivey, Brenda Fricker, Catherine O’Hara, Eddie Bracken, John Heard, Gerry Bamman
Year: 1992
It had been a long time since I had seen any of the Home Alone films when I bought the Blu-Ray set of the first two films that went on sale earlier this month for the lovely price of about $12. Being in a spend-y mood, I bought it happily, having wanted but never owned the first two films since I was a little kid. (Oddly, I did own a VHS of the third film.) And, I gotta say, while I still mostly enjoyed the films, even at age 26, I didn’t find myself laughing at them nearly as much as I had as a little kid. It’s not that I’m above the whole slapstick thing — I just watched Ted for the first time tonight, and one of the funniest parts of that movie was the ridiculously violent beat down the teddy bear gives Mark Wahlberg — but I certainly felt a lot more cynical about it than I had expected.
Perhaps it was the fact that I watched them back-to-back in one night. Perhaps it was because I watched them while cooking a turkey that inadvertently filled my apartment with large plumes of smoke (the turkey turned out fine, but I’m still unsure what caused all that). Or perhaps it’s because I realized that 2 is basically just a remake of 1 with extra ridiculous and a hefty dollop of moralizing. Maybe it was a combination of those factors.
So, rather than review these films separately, as I would with any other franchise, I decided to review them at the same time. Unlike with last year’s Grudge Match Review of adaptations of A Christmas Carol, however, this isn’t really a competition, but rather an efficient way of killing two birds with one stone. After all, take a look at those credits up there. The films are identical in cast and crew, with the second one doing the typical sequel thing by throwing in a few new faces for good measure, and, for the most part, they are the same in story structure, too. Read more…
Special Review: “2012” – Eat, drink, and be merry…
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Produced by: Harald Kloser, Mark Gordon, Larry J. Franco
Written by: Harald Kloser, Roland Emmerich
Cinematography by: Dean Semler
Edited by: David Brenner, Peter S. Elliott
Music by: Harald Kloser, Thomas Wander
Starring: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, Woody Harrelson, Liam James, Morgan Lily, Thomas McCarthy, George Segal
Year: 2009
Disclaimer: Aside from the insertion of images, film credits, and tags, this review is being written by someone who not only was having a couple drinks whilst watching this awful movie (and therefore was likely not paying too much attention), but was also very likely written while having a couple more afterward. Why? Have you SEEN this movie? It’s awful! One would need a few drinks to take any pleasure out of it! …That, and my roommate and I thought this would be a fun (possibly funny) experiment to see how well I write after a few drinks. All the great writers were abusers of substances, right? And so I figured I should review this before the big day comes, December 21, while everyone still supposedly has the time to read this. This review will not be edited once posted. My apologies to anyone who thinks I’m a bad influence. Hope you enjoy it as much as I hated this movie!
Disclaimer to the disclaimer: I am not an advocate of substance abuse, and this was all conducted within the safety of my apartment. Do not by any means take this an endorsement of illegal activity, irresponsible behavior, illicit drug use, and general, overall stupidity! Read more…
Review: Tim Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas”
Directed by: Henry Selick
Produced by: Tim Burton, Denise Di Novi
Written by: Caroline Thompson, Michael McDowell (screenplay); Tim Burton (story)
Cinematography by: Pete Kozachik
Editing by: Stan Webb
Music by: Danny Elfman
Starring: Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Ken Page
Year: 1993
Aren’t you glad that emo culture is on its way out? (Or is that fad already dead? I can’t really tell. Not in school any longer. I hope it is.) I remember this one emo kid in my high school, a couple grades below me, who went by the name of “Jack.” I put that in quotations because, as it turns out, his name wasn’t actually “Jack.” I honestly don’t remember what his name was, but I do remember how stupid I felt once I learned that his name actually wasn’t “Jack,” as I had come to believe, and that he had chosen this false name based on the lead character from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Review: “White Christmas”
Directed by: Michael Curtiz
Produced by: Robert Emmett Dolan
Written by: Norman Krasna, Norman Panama, Melvin Frank
Cinematography by: Loyal Griggs
Editing by: Frank Bracht
Music by: Irving Berlin
Starring: Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen, Dean Jagger, Mary Wickes, John Brascia, Anne Whitfield
Year: 1954
You would think that a film called White Christmas would have Christmas as a more prominent subject. Though I’d recognized several sequences, having likely seen the film with my mom when I was much younger, it had been so long since the last time I really sat down to watch it, this time was like my first all over again. Needless to say, the lack of prominence of Christmas as the primary subject in the film was surprising. (It may also surprise some to know that White Christmas wasn’t the first appearance of the titular Irving Berlin song, either — the song was originally released as a single before appearing in another Bing Crosby Christmas film, Holiday Inn.) But that’s not to say that the old proverbial Christmas spirit isn’t present in the film — by the film’s big final musical number, the meaning behind the film’s title becomes immediately clear. Read more…
Christmas Movie Month 2012 Commences!
It’s that time of year again. 2012 has nearly gone, and yet it always seems like there’s even more to do this time of year than any other time of year, what with Thanksgiving leading into Christmas and then into the New Year. I spent last week with my family for Thanksgiving, as well as my mom’s birthday soon after, and so I didn’t really get around to getting my Miracle on 34th Street review out around the time that I intended, so I basically considered it an unofficial start to my second Christmas Movie Month. It’s mere coincidence that my mom wanted to go see Rise of the Guardians, which features Santa, but isn’t necessarily about Christmas, so that was kind of a happy accident. Now, however, I’m switching gears fully into Christmas mode, once again!
In case you missed any of my reviews from last year, here’s a quick rundown of films that I reviewed for Christmas 2011:
Elf
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
The Polar Express
Meet Me in St. Louis
Die Hard
Scrooged, A Muppet Christmas Carol, and Disney’s A Christmas Carol in an ill advised Grudge Match Review that I came to despise doing – Part 1 & Part 2
Joyeux Noël
For this year, I plan to stay on task a bit more, and I’ve already got several reviews planned! Let’s also not forget that the aforementioned Miracle on 34th Street pulls double-duty as both a Thanksgiving and Christmas film! I also promised last year that I would review Eight Crazy Nights for those of you who celebrate Hanukkah, but the film disappeared around that time from Netflix, and I wasn’t about to use up a Blockbuster movie exchange. This year? … Maybe. But I’m not making any promises. That movie was pretty awful… Anyway, aside from maybe a few incidental theatrical reviews and one “special” review that I’m planning on writing at the end of this week (hint: it’s all about the supposed oncoming of the end of the world, and I’m not about to watch that movie or write that review without a few drinks to help me along), you can pretty much just expect Christmas movies until that day comes!
Until then, just in case I don’t get around to that awful Adam Sandler Hanukkah movie, please enjoy this classic Saturday Night Live animated music video instead, “Christmas for the Jews”: