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2019 IN REVIEW – The Worst of the Year (…and also the ones in between)

February 8, 2020 Leave a comment

Alright, so 2019 wasn’t the year I wound up kicking back into high gear with my writing, but I’m determined to get my list of best and worst movies reviewed before this early Oscars ceremony, and, dammit, if I have to cut out talking about the ones in the middle this time, I will!

First, though, I want to give a preview of the films you won’t be seeing on either list. These are films I saw and either liked or disliked, but didn’t particularly find to be extraordinary. If they are on the following section, they are anywhere from just mundanely bad to good, not great — at least in my opinion, of course…



TITLERELEASE DATERATING (x/5)
Escape Room1/04/192
The Upside1/11/192
The Kid Who Would Be King1/25/193.5
Cold Pursuit2/08/192
What Men Want2/08/192
Isn’t It Romantic2/13/193
Alita: Battle Angel2/14/193
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World2/22/193
Greta3/01/192.5
Little4/12/191.5
Missing Link4/12/193
The Hustle5/10/191.5
Pokémon Detective Pikachu5/10/193
Brightburn5/24/192.5
Ma5/31/193.5
X-Men: Dark Phoenix6/07/192.5
Late Night6/07/193
Men in Black International6/14/192.5
Child’s Play6/21/193.5
Annabelle Comes Home6/26/193.5
Stuber7/12/191.5
The Lion King7/19/192.5
Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw8/02/192.5
Dora and the Lost City of Gold8/09/193.5
Good Boys8/26/193
Hustlers9/13/193.5
Abominable9/27/192.5
Pain and Glory10/04/193
Let It Snow11/08/192
Last Christmas11/08/192.5
Noelle11/12/191.5
Lady and the Tramp11/12/192.5
Charlie’s Angels11/15/192.5
Queen & Slim11/27/193.5

Right, so with all that out of the way, let’s get on to the real meat of this and present… my top 22 picks for the worst movies I saw from 2019…



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2018 IN REVIEW – The Worst Movies of the Year

February 23, 2019 Leave a comment

Alright, so I’m going to beat the Oscars, I just know it! … Personal goals aside, I did figure out that there were plenty of movies I liked or at least was indifferent to from 2018, much more than I hated. That being said, any year will have its stinkers, and here are 24 of them in rough order. I mean, it could change with time, but I feel good about this, currently, and definitely feel good about my top pick, so take this as kind of a list of terrible or even just really bland, boring movies from the year that leads up to the one to rule them all.

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2018 IN REVIEW – The Movies In Between That I Have Seen…

February 17, 2019 Leave a comment

               

Yes, I am, indeed, very late to starting this, but despite the agony of malaise, lack of motivation, and all sorts of other emotional afflictions I’ve been facing, I am determined to get my 2018 in Review series completed by the time the Oscars are awarded, starting with the films that I considered neither enjoyable nor awful enough to put on my favorites nor my worst of the year lists! As per usual, if you don’t see the movie here, there’s a good chance that I either didn’t see it in time, hated it, or maybe even loved it! Films that are on this list are not necessarily bad, mind you, but neither are they the greatest movies of the year.

Some of them were considered among the worst of the year, but I found something to enjoy in them, nonetheless, as is the case with the first movie on the list (which isn’t organized according to quality but rather release date within the US). Some of them either received widespread accolades or were loved by many, but I found them lacking in some way to not put it on my favorites list. Perhaps I found them boring or severely overrated? Three of the films on this list were nominated for Best Picture for multiple ceremonies, after all. Regardless, I hope you enjoy reading this list, even if I found none of them superlatively great nor bad. Please excuse the roughness due to aforementioned afflictions…

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2017 IN REVIEW – The Films Between Two Extremes

February 21, 2018 Leave a comment

Okay, so I’m very behind. I have decided on dropping the whole review of films I hadn’t seen yet thing with 2017. It took me way too long, and, with this year in particular, I just wasn’t feeling it. December and January were hard months for me – as was most of 2017 – but I also felt as though I’d seen most of the films I wanted to, even while reviewing the ones I had missed. And so, I break with a longstanding tradition and skip straight to talking about the films I have seen, starting with the films that I neither felt were awful nor were among my favorites.

Below you’ll find the 50 films(!) that fell within this category along with a brief-ish summary of how I felt about them – and how critics in general felt about them with the included Rotten Tomatoes score. These are not intended to be reviews, and I also warn you that in the interest of finishing this by Oscars night, I did not double check my writing, so I apologise for the roughness. But then again, nobody’s apologizing to me about the roughness that was 2017, so… screw it. Here we go!

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2016 IN REVIEW – The Worst Movies of the Year

February 25, 2017 Leave a comment

The Legend of Tarzan - Alexander Skarsgård

Alright, so… I went a bit off the deep end this year, I think. I think I’ll exercise a bit more restraint for 2017. No point in stopping this year, though, when I’ve already started!

2016 was a crappy year, so here’s a list of all the crappy films I saw from it – all 43 of them, complete with answers for why I hated them, in approximately the order in which they sucked, in order of increasing suckage – though, really, what’s the difference between placement in 35 and 36? So, some of these are practically draws. Also, as always for these lists, I have included the Rotten Tomatoes score as of this writing, ’cause it’s always fun to see just how hated (or, in some movies’ cases, how confusingly liked) a movie is compared to my own ranking, right?

Anyway, forgive me if I’m a bit jaded and out of it this past year. I think I might write my list of favorite films while having a few beers…

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2016 IN REVIEW – Between Greatness and Incompetence

February 17, 2017 Leave a comment

X-Men: Apocalypse - Egypt

Well, now we’re finally at the films that I actually did see from 2016. Below, in release order, are the films I watched from this past year that were neither great nor horrible. They made me neither super angry nor super thrilled. Again, they are ordered in terms of release date, and so the list does not represent a ranking. Should you watch these?

Should you avoid them? It’s really up to you. As the title suggests, I watched them and came away, generally, as feeling all of these were, generally, somewhere between greatness and incompetence.  Read more…

REVIEW – Darkroom (2013)

October 22, 2016 1 comment
Darkroom (2013)Directed by: Britt Napier
Produced by: Britt Napier, Ron Stein
Written by: Michaelbrent Collings
Edited by: David Leonard, Jim Mol
Cinematography by: Frederic Fasano
Music by: Anthony Lledo
Starring: Kaylee DeFer, Elisabeth Röhm, Christian Campbell, Tobias Segal, Geneva Carr, Britne Oldford, Natalie Knepp
Year: 2013

 

Alright, so let’s get this point out of the way before I begin discussing this movie: Yes, I went to school with the star of this movie. I did not, however, know her very well, and I didn’t even have many of the same classes as her during the time she was there, and so I am in no way claiming to know intimate knowledge – and, even if I did, I wouldn’t divulge, because I am not writing for a gossip rag, and I am not a shitty person. That being said, it’s still kind of weird knowing that I very briefly crossed paths with someone in such a tiny school (43 people or so in my graduating class – she moved halfway through high school, so there’s that, too) who went on to be a recognizable actress. Not the biggest, mind you, but she had a prominent enough role in Gossip Girl for a couple seasons (I didn’t watch it, but I know I’m not the only person who watches things), and she once played Michael Rappaport’s daughter in a shortlived Fox sitcom called The War at Home, wherein she kissed Seth MacFarlane. He apparently remembered her well enough to invite her to do some voice acting on Family Guy. Heck, she was even one half of an actually crucial puzzle piece in Ted meeting the mother on How I Met Your Mother. That’s not unimpressive at all! So, yeah, there are people who will point at her and say, “I recognize her!” and so it’s still a noteworthy anecdote from my life (and anyone’s lives, really, from our class), especially considering that I once briefly played one of the gravediggers from Romeo and Juliet alongside her in our freshman year of high school for a school assignment – during which I cut my hand pretty badly on the jagged metal pipe I was using as a prop shovel. No wonder which one of us went on to act for a living and which went on to merely talk about people acting… for a hobby. Read more…

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